my mother is now in the hospital, overnight. theo is still on his way, as far as i know. these events are enough to make a non-bipolar have some pretty vicious mood swings, no?

there's not much else, just moods, emotions as follows:

hopefulness, exhaustion, anticipation, rampant horniness, shattered disappointment, zombie-like apathy, annoyance. (this is just the morning.) then, resentment, fear, pity, self-pity, brief elation, self-pity, brief elation, exhileration. and more of the same. totally that germanic rollercoaster thing at Busch Gardens, i tell you. after having drank several beers from the local, adjoining brewery. (i might as well start a brochure for the place...)

elation, despair, elation, despair, despair, longing, yearning, numb, numb, passion, guilt, numb!

at least the numbness allows for relaxation and some daydreaming, which may or may not lead to the hope/elation again. i think i'll put down "Naked Lunch" this evening and leaf thru a Spin magazine. (this is the first magazine i have purchased in about 8 years.)