Blog Name Changed to "Breadcrumbs, Boulders and Bitching."

warning: may contain gratuitous bitterness, bad language, peanuts, corn nuts, lice, soybeans, masturbation, and the agony of defeat.

suddenly my veins are rivers of shit. suddenly its 3:25am. suddenly i am feeling way to sorry for myself.

gradually i realize i'm tired. gradually i understand i have pms.

progressively i notice i have no money. ever. always. eternally. forever and forever, amein.

instantaneously i am developing a headache.

morosely i realize that i am writing to myself and always will. the headache moves to the back of my head, smacks me upside the head, tells me that that's not true, dipshit.

annoyed, i recall previous phonecall with fuckstick from the past. out for my best interest...? dear friend? yeah, ok. i'd rather have a stranger give me some advice. could it be possible that someone would want to travel more than 5 minutes (on foot) to see me? why, it must definitely be suspect and desperate. eat my ass. i wish he would just leave me the hell alone.

noting my bitterness, self-destructive urges, pain, selfish thoughts, immaturity. moving on.

remembering i bought a copy of "Naked Lunch." recalling the drawing i did today (its posted on www.thexis.deviantart.com , shameless promotional plug, yeah yeah yeah, moving on).

watching the blue parakeet eat seeds.

feeling like the scene in "the wall" where pink shaves his entire body.

i'm not worthy. i'm not worthy. bang head with fist. recall lyrics from weezer's "hashpipe."

i'm super-subliminal. woooooo.

at least i can say that i'm not stupid, even if i am just a you-know-what.

i can't believe how many people i've alienated.

it's not always my fault.


i'm a creep. i'm too bitter. i make myself sick, and i'll make you sick too.

thank god its friday.