recollection

today i wore a light blue v-neck short-sleeved shirt and an ankle-length tea-green skirt. i felt pretty for the first time in ages. i felt as though my movements were a kind of minuet/t'ai chi exercises, all day. pretty rad.

we went to frank's. my mother wanted some more houseplants for the living room. i used to work at franks as a child. the sky was a centrifuge, leftover spirals unspiraling from the most recent hurricane. it was beautifully chilly, i felt as though i were protected in the tall cylinder of clouds drifting by at a dizzying pace. i saw a face up there. that happens every now and again. it was cool.

we left with a lush corn-leaf plant, a hostas/philodendron, an adorable little aloe, and some gorgeous bamboo in a neat triangular pot. it's so cool...i never cared about plants before. i'm looking at sunny now, my little friend sitting on the tv. she's reaching for the sky with every heart-shaped leaf. we get along pretty well, so far.

hey you, yes, you!! i saw yr star before. i started singing a ridiculous old song from one of those black & white movies..."have you ever seen a dream...walking...well i did..." lol...(me=cheez log) i still haven't slept, and it's all right. i still have a cold, and it's all right. stomach...well, you get the picture. i keep saying, no...yes...yes...it can't be, it's a dream. i have steady music in my head, which started out as an interpol song and now resembles a sort of church-bell thing. the chords are like inhaling and exhaling everytime i hear them. i imagine an empty beach at night, every single star pulsating cool, white, and blue-black inky sky. i've been here before, maybe somewhere, somehow from my walkman...i'm not sure. i follow the sand, which seems lit from beneath. there are perfect shells, spiraling shells lying in the sand. i am the only one there. i'm not lonely. there is a light wind. i start to remember the last time i visualized this place...it was in the shelter, i was lying in my plastic bed with my walkman on in the dark, listening to "i wish you were here" by incubus on the radio for the first time. the sand is wet and gray and smooth.


i believe you are this place. and i feel i must find you. your sky.


(where's galileo when you need him??)

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meanwhile, back at the ranch...mom and p. had a huge fight. i moderated, rang the bell, and did a surprisingly ok job. basically they are both stubborn as hell. the disease makes her lash out. he's afraid to leave his parents.
i'm going to go take p. to get a dayplanner tomorrow, and perhaps a spiffy man-bag too. he needs to get organized before he can do anything else at all. (i should talk...) he also needs to wear a watch, or at least check the clock from time to time...
i know she hates it that he always wears sweat pants too. geez, i feel like i am his own personal Fab Five all of a sudden...oh well.


wow. that was the sacred and the mundane. i just realized that. woah.

woah.