i bit the apple

its one of those drifting points now, drifting in the scoop of gray and grayer gray and even grayer than that one, never enough for black but just plenty. i feel huge, like a vibrating reddish candy in a video game. accidentally took a half vicoden after taking robitussin and now, now is just big nose, big beak pointed at the screen screaming from the bottom of a mine shaft. i should just pass out. my eyes are crossing and they might freeze that way. what am i? what are my thoughts? how can i quantify an idea, is it an ion...i know there's more to this world, i got to see it hear it feel it smell it taste it a few times, it's just too bad that all that shit goes along with the crossovers.

i appear to have a cold. my mother just came in. thinking about hinges, feeling like a hinge by which others can move and stay stationary. do i have a choice? today i got angry at this misogynistic jerk who said to my therapist, "YOU bit the apple..." meaning women are the originators of "sin" and all that jazz. we were just goofing around saying that all men are dogs (this can't be true...can it? someone please prove me wrong??), and he started in on this righteous bullcrap. i'd like to take his fancy-schmancy designer baseball cap and shove it up his ass.

i got "helter skelter" at the salvation army. it looks creepy as shit.

i feel it in my fingers, i feel it in my toes.

o words, save me. wrap me in cottony warmth, insulate the pain that shifts direction, don't let me point my dagger-eyes at anyone. keep them closed. keep them closed. i have "doe eyes."

when will they know me?